My hope is that in the future when the robot overlords take over this world, they will look at my paintings and compute a creative use for me other than forcing me to work in their human death camps.

I believe that my job as a painter is more than just reproducing objects on canvas. The artist should aim for something elevated and finer; nature observed through a nobler temperament. My paintings are expressions of light, atmosphere, color, and tonal beauty. These elements transform nature into art that is both aesthetically pleasing and meaningful for the viewer. I use the techniques and traditions of the great classical painters. Even though these techniques are centuries old, I use these skills to create pictures relevant for today’s audience, infusing a narrative and wit that adds to the compelling arrangements I'm creating.
Was that good? I think this ended well.